In the beginning God created Man, then animals, after which he gave Adam a garden to tend. Then GOD said, “It’s not good for the Man to be alone; I’ll make him a helper, a companion”. A helper is someone who is supposed to assist and support a leader or head. Invariably God created the Man to be the head and provider of the family, and the woman to support him. However, a situation where the Man of the house now becomes anything less than the head in terms of provision for the family can create a really big problem. nneka blog pics

     I have heard some of my male friends talk about how women get intoxicated with power once they start earning more than their husbands, and how they become disrespectful and sometimes start failing in their duties as a wife. I had to sample the opinions of male and female folks on the issue.

 

Tee Pearl: In my opinion, we women really don’t know how to handle power. That is why most women in power misbehave. This also applies in this situation where a woman earns more than her husband. It takes a lot of humility and submission to avoid misunderstandings, as we all know the Man likes to be in control so no matter how much money a woman earns, she has to remain humble and give her husband the respect he deserves.

MJ Pearl: Men are egoistic in nature and that makes them to naturally want to be in charge which I believe is very okay. If a woman earns more than her man, then she has to be careful so as not to give a wrong impression to the man or even onlookers because sometimes the man might not even care but his friends or family members would start drawing his attention to it. I believe the solution is extra submission and sincere humility from the part of the woman.

Nekylegy: I actually feel that Men are insecure and they let their insecurities blind them to the truth. The truth is most women in Nigerian homes are the breadwinners. Women love to ensure that all is well in their homes especially. There shouldn’t be a problem if a woman earns more than her man.

Seun: As a Man I don’t have a problem with it. But I don’t think the disparity should be much in order to protect the sanctity of the marriage. Though, it still behoves on the man to bear the responsibilities of the home, the wife too should support heavily! I think that’s how to manage it. So the point is Men should work really hard to forestall issues like this.

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Kingsley: Personally I don’t have a problem with it, but when it begins to take her time so much that she is not able to cater for the family, and then starts giving excuses that she is going from one board meeting to another I might not take it lightly.

    I could go on and on trying to get people’s view about this very controversial topic but I noticed that everyone kept talking about BALANCE, SUBMISSION, and HUMILITY. It is important for every woman to understand that no matter how much money or influence she has, submission is very key. Ephesians 5 vs 22-24 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING”.

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     Some people say the true test of a   person’s character is seen when they have “too little” and when they have “too much”. Wives submit to your husbands, no man can lead a woman who cannot follow. Pride of life is a destiny destroyer and a home destroyer. If God places you in a greater position of power than your husband, see it as a privilege and not something you got with your strength after all it is God that gives the power to make wealth. Ensure there is balance and that your family is not at the losing end. Pray for your husband and continually speak blessings into his life. Stand by him in those trying times; never make him feel less than a man. Be his number 1 fan!

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   Dear Men, it is your responsibility to lead and provide for your family this is not to say that a woman should not help, we were created to be your help meets. No woman can follow a man who cannot lead! If your wife is in a higher position than you are, love her all the same and thank God for giving you such a great jewel of inestimable worth. Ephesians 5 vs 25 “Husbands love your wives; just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Do not see it as a competition, rather an opportunity to do more. Do the best you can, and I am sure God will bless the works of your hands.

 

Appreciation: To all my ever consistent readers and supporters, I say a big thank you. Paul, Miebi, Vicky, Nneka, Seun, all my ladies (Pearls), you’re the best. God bless!
You can send me a mail on nwaekpestella@yahoo.com or follow me on twitter @uchestellz

The Nation in my Womb!

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If you are reading this and you are single, I want you to know that this is the best season of your life. Yes, singlehood is the most exciting season in one’s life. Rather than spend all the days in your singlehood worrying about when your “Mr/Miss Right” is going to show up, there are a couple of things you should be doing now. I remember when I went for a youths convention about 4 years ago and my friends and I decided to visit the book store there, after walking past the whole shelves I ended up buying 2 books : “Raising Godly children and Understanding motherhood”. My friends had to go “Stylo are you already a mother?” Well, I really was not a mother then but I was in the preparatory stage and still am. I love this saying “The best time to prepare for war is when there is peace”, so I can equally say that the best time to prepare for marriage is when you are single.

It is important for us to note that being a mother is not all about getting pregnant and being able to give birth to a child (almost any woman can do that), we have more responsibilities than that. The beautiful thing about children is that they have this pure and innocent mind, which makes them to be easily “manipulated”, that is why you can hear a child say things like “Mummy said I should tell you that she is not at home”. I strongly believe that if we can put some positive values in our children while they are young and innocent, it will go a long way in helping them grow and also affecting their generation, Proverbs 22vs6; “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.

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       I remember when my pastor said that he had been tithing since he was 10 years old. His grandmother who was not even learned and could not even read the bible told him that tithe is God’s portion of whatever income one receives. This was 49years ago.

As mothers to be we need to teach our children the importance of tithing, sacrifice, honesty, and service in the house of God. Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya used to say that “Public values are a reflection of private values”. God gives us children so we can raise Godly children, Genesis 18vs19 “For I have chosen him(Abraham), so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just”. Raising Godly children is one of the greatest ways by which we can make the world a better place.

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    Take out time to pray for your unborn children, read books on motherhood (especially books with scriptural backings). We might not have the opportunity to change the whole world literally, but remember that one child is a nation. You bear a nation in your womb, never forget that.

Finally, remember that you cannot raise a child by your own power, trust the Holyspirit to teach you how to go about it. I see us raising a great generation, a people who will be called after God’s name, a great army of Christ who will depopulate the kingdom of darkness and populate the kingdom of God. For all those who already have children, I say a big congrats to you, may you never lack wisdom for your children. To the singles who are set to make a difference; enjoy and maximise the best season of your life!

Appreciation: A big thank you to my lovely colleagues who always help proofread my posts; Alexis and Kingsley. My models; Salome, Gwen, and Miebi.
You can follow me on twitter @uchestellz, or send me an email on nwaekpestella@yahoo.com